Slave eklipsen

  
Free
$ $
Male, 48 yo
Denmark - i…rhus
joi
cei
Ruined orgasm
Orgasm Denial
Feet worshipping

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Thorough
Fast
Grateful
Respectful
Medias Quality
English
Submissive
Humorous
Versatile
Toys
High Limit
Faithful
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Luckily owned by Goddess Pocahontas - that is what matters, the rest is for her alone to care for :)

I’m looking for an Internet fling, nothing more - I’m in a vanilla relationship, that I do not wish to compromise - and I have a demanding job - so I only have a few hours here on occational afternoons and evenings. In other words if works well for me with assignments that can be solved, when I have the opportunity to do so.

I think I ought to write a bit about my limits, but my short time here has learned me that it is really difficult to list exactly, but here goes:

Hard limits:

*Anything that would compromise my vanilla relationship - hence I can e.g not be marked or wear stuff, when my girl friend is around. It also set limits for the extent of control, but I promise to honest honor commitments.
*Sissy stuff.
*Findom. Naturally I would like to pamper my Goddess, but I can’t give up financial control.

Tuesday, October 15th 2024 - 18:40

I have applied my last healing cream - and my balls are no longer wounded. Actually it was a few days ago, but I have saved up to use my new rank, which should allow me to post pictures. So here goes - here is a picture from 11 days ago:

 

I have written about the pain and how I was hurt in blog entry from October 3rd. This blog entry is about the healing, feeling good again and how to recover well from your injuries - and I have recovered well and fast - I believe due to the great advice of my Goddess to apply healing cream. After a week with healing cream my balls were back to normal as you can see here below:


I have realized even though me and my last two Goddesses have had only the best of intentions - intentions of not hurting me so much that it would leave me marked, - then only my firsts doctor educated Goddess, has been able to leave me un marked after her tortures. My second Goddess burned me with birthday candles, which apparently burn much more than regular candles - which left me marked with something that could appeal as skin cancer for a few weeks - and later when my much loved Goddess Pocahontas ordered me to cover my penis and ball in candle wax, it was not the wax itself, but my lack of shaving that ended up scaring me when I had to cut and pull the wax out of my hair covered schrotum. I have not applied healing cream here - but it is still noticeable to the right of my penis in the picture above - even though that happened weeks ago. So I am very happy to see that I have healed my balls in only a week by applying healing cream - thanks for the advice Goddess ❤️

Wednesday, October 9th 2024 - 17:14

Loctober Low - Goddess have not been treated right, she has not felt the respect and devotion as a Goddess like her deserve - and it saddens me. She should be happy and feel pampered. She started to question why it is so, and then I started too. I think there is some sort of low in the slave market here in October - most competitions have no participants and the other competitions have only a few.  I have not been her for long but it seems like a low compared to August and September. I wonder if fall have set in with rain and mud and lowered the moods all around - but I also thought about how grumpy I get without release and maybe a third into locktober is just a low, with long since last release and even longer to the next release? In life there are phases, and maybe a third into locktober, is the equivalent of the teenage, where authority is questioned, fights are frequently and slaves feel insecure, tired and moody - well I don’t know, but it will be interesting to see if the pattern repeats next year. Until then Goddess, know that I admire your feet with great devotion.

Tuesday, October 8th 2024 - 10:27

Back to fun. I have had a great morning after a period of illness where I have also been healing my wounds, then I feel good once again, I feel devoted and happy. I have been allowed two ruined orgasms, I was filming and the first one did not pass expectation, so I had to do it again. Yippee it is good to have to do your favorite thing twice - and my favorite thing is to cum. I think it would have been slightly better if it was not ruined, but quite frankly from the depths of my sub space today I don’t know. I really enjoyed making the video - and I think it went well, so I’m all together proud, happy and relaxed. I needed that, my submission was starting to fail and I was starting to wonder why submitting at all. It had actually only been a little more than a week since my last orgasm, but in that week a lot of things went bad, so I really needed to feel good, to be reassured about this being right for me. Well this morning all went well for me, I even had a nice chat with Goddess, but I was sorry to hear that the new slaves had not treated her right, and misused her good nature. I hope she will take pleasure from watching my assignment from today and her tomorrow will bring her only joy.

Friday, October 4th 2024 - 15:35

Money Talks. I have so far tried to avoid the subject, but money is a part of this. For many dominants it is not only a lifestyle but also a living, to be a Goddess, and they are here and available in so many hours because it is a profession, hopefully a profession they love, but nonetheless it is how they make their living and how they make their money. That means that many in here will need income to pay their rent, get groceries and other normal expenses - and not the most sexy kind. For us slaves, there are expenses, there are tributes, fees on services, fees on gifts and fees on chastity log end cum log entries, fees on competitions, and for all there are fees on pictures on the public square. Findom is a turn on for a few slaves, but for me it is a big turn off and a hard limit. I’m okay with any fee, and understand and accept that there might be Goddesses out of my league, that I cannot afford, or who I can only afford for glimpse. It is however important for me that I can afford a Goddess and that I can meet and exceed financial expectations and hence give joy - I’m not bratty, I don’t like to provoke, disappoint or otherwise cause dissatisfaction. Saying no to a Goddess is a big turn off to me, and a frequent cause for my online break ups - I loose the trust and hence the desire if I feel I am being used. Hence for me it is important that the deal made is kept, and it is not exploited that I believe, I as a slave should say “Yes, Goddess” and not no. I said no today, and chose to fight it, instead of fleeing, as I generally like Goddess very much. I said no to giving her a gift, while hurt and after having procured a service not yet delivered. That the service is not delivered is no issue, but also no occasion to show gratitude. I expect to spend more than the negotiated fee, but I would expect the agreed costs to be the main part of the costs and after a trial I expect costs to resemble the trial costs.

Thursday, October 3rd 2024 - 15:16

“Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards” is a famous quote of the Danish philosopher Soeren Kirkegaard. I have not been good at living life forwards, but in here I do think that, I have lived life forwards and taken the opportunities that I have been given. Hence embarking on a chastity journey with a new Goddess and a new chastity cage without neither test or precaution was unlike me and one of life experiences, that I can now reflect and review backwards. I made the choice to buy a new cage to get otherwise unattainable tamper seals. I chose to use this cage to give my self a longer time in chastity, and to experience the thrill of passing through airport security locked up - but naturally I did it in an attempt to please my Goddess. In the last two journal entries, I have described the feelings and challenges of the first day, here is how the last day unfolded. I had reasonable pain all day at work, there was an ever present pain, but not a pain, I couldn’t hide, or a pain that prevented me from working. After work I took a taxi and went straight to the airport to face airport security, with my swollen balls tied to my right leg to reduce suspicion. I chose an airport security lane, guarded by only young women with guns - which seemed thrilling in the moment, but somewhat to my disappointment, it went super smooth and I was through it all in seconds. I was just left with the pain, and a long wait for the airplane as the flight was delayed. Once the flight finally boarded I realized that the airplane was melting hot. Male genitalia is much responsive to heat, and while male genitalia can almost disappear in the cold, as demonstrated with my second place finish in “Most Pitiful Cock Picture”, genitalia grow in heat, and my already hurting balls grow another size with an ever increasing pain as a direct result. The only relief was a limited relief of two minutes in the toilet, where I could set the balls free - but soon I was back to my seat for hours where the heat and the pain only got worse, peaking as the airplane started to decent. In the next airport I started a quick search for a toilet, and tried to cool my balls somewhat sitting with a naked crotch on the toilet for half an hour or so. Then the wait for the next plain started, again it was delayed to further increase my pain - and I realized I could not sit in the seat, but had to sit in the window until I was again boarding a plane with tropic temperatures. The pain was so bad, that I feared, that I would look ill in the eyes of the cabin crew - but the flight was kind of short so soon I was in the airport, where I was picked up by my farther, as my parents live near by. My mother had prepared port, snacks and other treats, but all I could think about was to hide my enormous hurting balls, and soon I went to bed. Goddess had allowed me to release myself from Chastity after verifying, so my plan was to sleep until I could release my balls, but with the pain sleep was no option. It was just an agonizing wait. At this time I estimate that my genitalia had the weight of half a kilo and I had to hold it upright so it would not squeeze itself. When time was up, I quickly verified and tried to fill how I freed myself, but cage and my balls had swollen into one, and it was so hard to get the cage off, that I had to give up filming and actually, I considered to cut it of - but in the end I got it off without surgery. It is now 16 hours ago, my balls are still swollen, and the skin of my balls has broken from the pressure all the way around and between, forming crust on the wounds . They look clearly scared, and I wonder how quick they will heal.

What I have understood here backwards is that I will never do it again, that I should have ended this on day 2, and contacted Goddess and I think that she would have understood. Some times when you live life forwards, you get brushed, but hopefully I will learn from it and be better at realizing when it is time to pause and talk it over.


Wednesday, October 2nd 2024 - 02:59

30 hours of separation. Last night I felt the pain of separation - my silicone chastity cage had for 30 hours forced my tightly squeezed ball apart with a five millimeters thick cord buried deep between my ball. A super tight and very powerful elastic that put a constant pressure at the exact same spot between my blown up balls. The pain was almost unbearable and I was thinking about sharing my pain with my Goddess, but thought I should try to deal with it myself somehow before I came whining at her feet. My solution was a piece of cardboard which I forced between the silicone cord to a pain that made my eyes water - but once the cardboard was in place it distributed the pressure and made me feel better and good enough to go to dinner. I wore the cardboard for three hours, if was better - but not like before and then I realized that the pain could have had another cause - Goddess had had me worship her feet and finger my ass to show her my excitement, and while doing that my cock and balls had moved with the silicone contraction and it was after the excitement had ended, I had felt the pain. Once I realized the cause I hosed down my cock and balls in the shower with cold water and got everything readjusted and I have had a full night with a lot of sleep and a reasonable pain level in my crotch so I feel positive to start a new work day - and face airport security in chastity.

Tuesday, October 1st 2024 - 05:17

First day of chastity. I am on a business trip, I have a new employee joining in Poland, hence I am here to greet her welcome and give her a good start and an induction to the company. That means 4 days away from home - and hence a rare opportunity for Goddess to lock me up in chastity and make me completely hers - and she has wasted no time in doing so. I lost my tamper seals Sunday, so it all started with a bit of panic, as I needed to get new seals within a day. I could only achieve that task by procuring a new chastity cage in the local sex shop - a silicon cage with 5 tamper seals. The new cage in silicon did also allow for wearing it through airport security, so Goddess and I agreed that I should lock the new cage on yesterday, which I did. Hence I went straight into the new chastity cage without any trial, and I must live with the consequences of my decisions when installing the cage. I did what I I think a good boy should do - and installed it with the smallest cock ring, and with the tightest setting, that required some force, so it is now very tightly secured around my crotch. That do give a little pinching pain, but I think I will survive it just fine. The second issue I encountered is that cage naturally points straight forward - and hence it is naturally very visible through the pants, which I was thinking hard about through the first airport. In the second airport I found the solution, and tied it down to my right leg with a shoe lace, and hence like that it looks kind of natural it is silicone after all, though I might look bigger than I really am :-). I arrived late at the hotel last night, and had my first night with the cage. It is somewhat flexible due to the silicone, so I can get something of an erection in it, but when my cock grows it tightens and it really squeezes my balls and makes it somewhat painful, so I have woken up, more than planned - and worshipped Goddess more than planned - but I actually feel well rested, so maybe it was all for the better:-)

Monday, September 30th 2024 - 18:03

Three Goddesses, Two declined offers of ownership and now one lovely owner :-)

I’m now really a slave, I am now property and no longer free. My freedom lasted about a month in here - I am now owned and so far I like it - like in Uncle Tom’s Cabin life as a slave can be good with the right owner - and it is very good with Goddess Pocahontas. The story of Uncle Tom, and some of the insults you get from Dominatrixes in here has however also made it very clear to me that I could not be a happy slave for all. I do my best to serve and do not take neglect, insults and failure well, so I need a caring Goddess who appreciates a slave who try to do well, but sometimes lack the experience and ability to do so. My first trial Goddess in here was also much like that, and leaving her to try something else, was a very hard decision for me, for she was good and good for me, but she did not share my greatest passion and had no foot fetish of her own - so we could not share the core of my submission. The second Goddess did share my passion a little, but was more of a sadist to me, than one who really longed to be worshipped. I’m sure that there will be a masochist for her out there who will be truly happy with her and feel the deep submission they would both desire. I do however not feel that I could share her passion in happiness. The offers of ownership did also come from Dominatrixes, without a word without a single hi, hey or hello. That don’t do it for me, I need a deeper connection before I sign away my slave life- I care for my slavery and I care for my Goddess - the most awesome Goddess Pocahontas my owner and mentor 

Saturday, September 28th 2024 - 11:07

Venus from Milo, Aphrodite from Samothrace and Pocahontas from Buenos Aires. It is like Christmas when you were 7 when your Goddess change her picture of worship (That is if you do not worship on of the top 3 Archgoddeses. In that case there is no wait and no excitement - and it is like getting an orgasm after a period of 2 seconds in chastity. I have tried it, it is not the same, not that special.) Today Goddess changed her picture and for hours I fantasized about how it would be, how fantastic it would be - peaking every hour, trying to see if time had come to open the present. It was not the picture I imagined it would be, but god, Goddess is beautiful - I’m sure if Thorvaldsen would have lived, he would have looked at her picture only for a second before he would have worked his magic on a piece of marble and turned her picture to a bust of esteemed beauty - Pocahontas from Buenos Aires - to be admired for generations :-)

Friday, September 27th 2024 - 14:30

This slave do not have the skills to do skills assessment. The first weeks in here I did not do skills assessments as I did not understand it - and I thought that I would be assessed on my assessment, and I should be able to do the first skills, which I wasn’t. Since I realized that there were no assessment of what I assessed, I have done them every day to get as much fame as possible. I do however still don’t get it, they are called skills hence can you or can you not - but the questions tend to be more like will you or will you not obey. For me it sometimes also end up being me assessing whether I get turned on by the task. Sometimes I think I can do a task under the right circumstances and see the glass as half full, other times I see glass as half empty and answer based on some conditions under which I cannot do it. I really do not have the skills for this…

Thursday, September 26th 2024 - 15:27

A slaves point of view - it is only natural to see a Goddess from below. In an absolutely ecstatic moment after Goddess again met me in my fantasy and I was worshipping her feet, it came to me that it was unnatural to see her feet from above - in my fantasies, I imagine I should see her feet from below if not deprived sight. Hence pictures from below seem to catalyze the deepest emotions of submission and desire in me. The next thought was the thought of Goddess, and her point of view- what she would like to see. I’m sorry that I did not think of this first thing - but when I brought it up, she actually seemed more interested in my emotions of submission than in her point of view to me her slave. Nevertheless I have bought a selfie stick (never thought I should own such a thing - buying it was actually pushing my limits :D) - and now I plan to film my next assignment from above. Then we will see what Goddess thinks :)

Wednesday, September 25th 2024 - 04:38

How do people do anal? I have spend hours on the bathroom floor, trying to get an anal plug op my ass - and other hours in my bed trying to achieve the same. I have been able to get a finger sized plug up and have slept with it for hours - but the one plug with the width of a big cock is just not going up there. I have watched much anal porn, but until today I have not really appreciated how hard it is - but now I do understand why so many women pass on anal. I will have to learn anal though -I guess it is a must for a slave - and I’m happy that Goddess have shown me patience and made it our personal project. I love the thought of a longer term project with Goddess - it is so nice to share a common goal.

Tuesday, September 24th 2024 - 14:35

Am I safe? That is the question, I ask myself today. Goddess Pocahontas have given me tasks that I thought it would take months or years of service to get - I just started in here a month ago, and I have done very little submission before that - and the first two weeks in here, were kind of mild - I thought it was wild a week ago, but now it is at a whole new level. As a slave it is really hard, on one side being pushed to new boundaries is exiting, but how steep can a learning curve be, to be safe? If you run a marathon without training you will get injured, and I somehow believe that the same would apply in here - but on the other hand, I have so limited experience and I imagine that Goddess have seen so much, that she can judge, what is safe and what is not…I will take more time to think and prepare, but I will trust Goddess and give it a go - perhaps what looks like a marathon is just short sprint. I hope I will be safe…

Monday, September 23rd 2024 - 13:29

Thinking with my dick. I had looked so much forward to this mornings first task from Goddess - last week was too busy for tasks and Sunday went out the window due to vanilla stuff, so I had built up quite a hive when the task finally arrived - and full of excitement and stress, I went straight to it - red it quickly, filmed and uploaded in a flash. What a dick move by me, I miss read a bit - red whack for whacks - did and filmed one where I should have done and filmed many - and hence I did not deliver something fully satisfactory…I knew it the moment it was too late. Sorry Goddess, this slave should have kept his cool, but lost it in excitement - thanks to Goddess, I quickly got a chance to redeem myself, it made my day - and I will try to be more cool in the future…the problem is just that Goddess is so hot, and I get so excited and then I think with my dick if I’m not careful. But I will strive to be careful for Goddess - no more dick thinking!

Saturday, September 21st 2024 - 06:32

Nothing better than being met and accepted for what you are. My favorite quote from my favorite musician is “There is a crack in everything - that is how the light gets in”. We all have cracks, something that is us and something that is not tasteful in the eyes of the many - being met and accepted for your cracks is a wonderful feeling. I’m a foot guy, I got foot pictures yesterday - and without request or pressure, Goddess took initiative - and let me worship her feet.  There is nothing better than to be embraced for your “cracks”. I’m so happy today

Thursday, September 19th 2024 - 15:18

Hakuna matata, is the carefree lifestyle of my favorite Disney character, Pumpa and his life companion, Timon. You can’t help to love the Disney characters, which are globally know, and hence some I often  use when I have to explain something while keeping the anonymity. I’m not Pumpa, carefree, silly and brave - but enjoy such company. Timon roughly translates into he who respects, that is likely more me. Wonder if Pocahontas is the little playful one, that the name translates into…she is certainly beautiful,. I can’t wait to play :)

Wednesday, September 18th 2024 - 04:23

Out of orbit for a day. This week is really crazy, my work is super busy and my weekend is full of family, so really not suited for slavery. So I thought I would take a break for a week after having ended my service to Goddess Rose, who was so kind to take me under her wings last week. After a day of freedom, I did however feel lost, out of orbit with no sun in my life. So I approached, Goddess Pocahontas, and she has allowed me to worship her. So now she is the sun of my slave life and the center of my universe - in this week I will still be an insignificant comet in the outer space, but I look forward to get closer to the sun next week.

Monday, September 16th 2024 - 17:27

I got a big assignment this weekend, one I could not solve in a day. There were many components, and some items I did not have on my list of toys - but nothing rare that I could not easy acquire ones Sunday turned to Monday. The hard part was that the assignment made me push my limits a bit, and made me do something, I hade never done before - and something, I had not thought, I would do - but again not something I had listed as a hard limit. I realized that this turned me on, so the 5 times I had to edge went unexpectedly quickly - and I felt super again - that is until the hot drips of candle wax hit my chest and replaced my hornyness with a burning pain.

Saturday, September 14th 2024 - 19:40

I feel good, I feel relaxed and really nice. I was given a task tonight that matched my own kinks, what a privilege, and I feel totally zen. It is not often this happens in here, a Goddess have a strong will and her own desires and I have often been doing tasks that gave me no other satisfaction than to please my Goddess. Tonight I felt the pleasure of a ruined orgasm - I hope Goddess will enjoy it too.

Friday, September 13th 2024 - 16:30

Have you ever tried to write with a pen in your ass? I tried that today - I tried it a lot - 20 times or so, as it was not easy to get just my name written. Well Goddess generously did approve my writing, so kind of her - it was not my best work….

Thursday, September 12th 2024 - 15:53

Slave learnings, 2nd Goddess, 3rd week. I have been nervous all day - Goddess has made me suffer all weak, and once she didn’t approve my assignment, though I had done the best I thought I could in the circumstances. Sometimes a resource is scarce, like ice, and ones used, it will take time to get more - and I believe that no Goddess like to wait. In such a situation you as a slave have a choice, if you have made an almost perfect video, but also only almost as instructed - either the slave can wait for the ice to freeze again or you can send the almost perfect video and hope for the best. I had such a decision this morning, and chose to send a video, that perhaps had a minor imperfection. I feared sending it, as I love to please, and feel really bad when I feel I fail - pain gives me no pleasure in it self, the only thing in it for me is if I can feel, that my suffering was enjoyed by Goddess, but if she enjoys it, I enjoy to suffer for her, for her reaction. Sometimes all you get as a slave is an approval, but today she not only approved the video, she also wrote that she enjoyed seeing me suffer - she warmed my heart and made my day

Wednesday, September 11th 2024 - 19:31

A day of first. Goddess Rose started slow on me, but today she cranked it up - It was a busy day, a day of first and a very good day. I’m 48. I once had medical camera up my ass as part of a cancer treatment, but except for that, I have never had any thing up my ass until today. I had twelve ice cubes up my ass today, it was actually not noticeable cold, it was more of a bloody and painful experience. My sphincter would not let the ice cubes in easily, so it was profound unpleasant experience getting the cubes past the sphincter, it also drew some blood, though that pain was minimal. My second task was more of a sharp pain, as I was to close a hard covered book over my testicles 5 times, 4 times out of 5 it was sharp but quick pain, the last time the pain was a sharp and profound pain that caused sickly feelings for up to a minute. The last experience was true pleasure though in an extremely hard position for my stiff and inflexible 48 year old body, I was allowed to cum, with shoulders on the ground, my ass raised up agains the wall, and my cock pointing towards my mouth - it was a struggle to get in position, but once there I quickly released to the thought of the boots of Goddess Rose. No salty taste could limited the privileged feeling of gratitude and joy - thank you Goddess Rose - to cum to the thought of your boots was a fantastic feeling.

Tuesday, September 10th 2024 - 19:36

Nev Goddess, New start. I got my first assignment from Goddess Rose today, I’m so happy I got it, I hope she will be happy with how I completed it. It has been a big relief for me to get it, my last Goddess had me completing tasks for her in no time - Goddess Rose have taken time to get to know me a little and we have struggled with time differences and my lack of availability. I don’t think I have handled it well, I have been too confused and too emotional about the difficult start, I should have been more patient and positive. Thank god, that Goddess was more cool and collected. I am grateful.

Monday, September 9th 2024 - 05:24

A feet guy huh - was what Goddess DommyBitch labeled me, after I had been begging her for a picture of her feet for weeks. I am a feet guy, I guess - I really likes to worship feet. I understand that I as a slave have no idea about what it takes to be a Goddess, that heels may be uncomfortable and foot beauty may require effort or beauty Spa’s that may be far apart - but this slave really loves feet. So Goddess DommyBitch allowed this slave to leave, and now it may worship Goddess Rose’s most wonderful feet - I think she wears the highest heels with the highest arches - happy, happy, happy slave.

Saturday, September 7th 2024 - 11:29

Punishment if you fail - those were the words after the task description in my present assignment. A very difficult assignment, I might add - I doubt it can solved with traditional thinking and my physique - but like in the tv show “task master”, bending the rules or alternative reading and can make almost anything possible. The question for this slave was then, should it bend the rules a little to seemingly solve the task as requested - or would I please Goddess more, by giving it a go,  be true to the task and fail so she may punish me for inadequacies. I went for the last solution today, wonder what punishment awaits me…

Friday, September 6th 2024 - 04:09

A full day of silence. I did not hear from Goddess today. She is on a different clock and is mostly online while I’m asleep - so it could just be that we missed each others, and she just went to bed a bit like normal people and didn’t stay up all night. I hope she had a good day - and went to sleep when she felt like it. My day was the most vanilla since I joined - I mostly just watched my national football team take the first win in nations league. It was the first match with a new coach and a new team - a new beginning and a really good match.

Thursday, September 5th 2024 - 04:26

I was just a cow - should I have been a cash-cow? I disappointed Goddess and was punished this morning. Only fair, I guess - I managed to cum 7 times in 48 hours - I think it should have been the double, and a young stud could likely do 4 times as good as me. To let Goddess see every time, I had to gift her 8 times, and one of them failed to load, so I had to gift again - another was in so poor quality that I doubled the fee - hence 9$ for 7 times - four times that would have been 36$ and made a young stud a happy cash -cow. I’m just a cow, sorry Goddess.

Wednesday, September 4th 2024 - 15:28

A soft assignment getting hard, or a hard assignment going soft. Yesterday morning Goddess gave me a new assignment - an assignment on time, assignment of 48 hours. I had to cum as much as possible in the next 48 hours, and she wanted to see it every time. Easy I thought, fantastic I thought have not had an orgasm for days, the first one was easy and fantastic. Reality hit when I tried to get number two, I am a sexually insecure and nervous soul, and when under pressure my dick go soft. It is the reason why my sex life is almost nonexistent, why my girl friend and I very rarely have sex, and why when we do it is always be going down on her. I have disappointed so many girls in my vanilla life, and it has caused so many breakups, as few women can live with a limp dick. It is a psychological and not physical and so far unsolvable for me. Yesterday was a busy day full of meetings, and that increased the psychological pressure on me, so the results for the first 24 hours was 3 ejaculations and many more failures, with accompanying guilt. The ejaculations are good - the failures bad, overall still happy :-)

Tuesday, September 3rd 2024 - 04:10

Pavlov’s dogs and toothpaste. The Russian psychologist Ivan Pavlov provoked his dogs to a conditioned response to a neutral stimulus, when feeding his dogs to a metronome - so when ever the metronome was one the dog’s mouth would water. I had expected some sort of classical conditioning- but I had expected it to shoes or feet, but Goddess have made me play so much with toothpaste, that I get a little hard on every time I brush my teeth. Not exactly what I had hoped for - but still a new experience :-)

Sunday, September 1st 2024 - 06:33

Goddess said yes to play with me yesterday after my last blog update. What a thrill - I’m a happy, happy, happy slave :-) <3. But what about Goddess? I know she likes to play with me…but I wonder why…and let’s just start by bypassing the financials, they are part of it, but you can earn money in so many ways - and this blog post is not about the money. I have come up with three theories for why a Goddess keeps slaves - 1. It makes her juices flow :-). Slaves get turned on by their Mistress and hope their Mistress get turned on by them - I do however fear that juices far from always flows from Goddess’s. 2. We make them smile - and entertain like cat videos on the internet.  3 and perhaps most likely they get joy from been greeted like a pet, or a small child and feel the platonic love, for those who love them unconditionally 

Saturday, August 31st 2024 - 04:54

Slave hardship is the heading of my thoughts this morning. As a slave you should serve when your Goddess wants you to serve - that can sometimes be hard enough in itself. This morning I do however feel that the hardest part is when Goddess, do not require you to serve. I on occasion call Goddess, Archgoddess as she is top 3 in the rankings. So she has her 12 pink plate slaves, owned in full, at least a couple of white plate slaves, that are displayed as owned and only Goddess knows how many she plays with like me. That is all fine, as it should be - her stable should hold all she could desire. However, even though I believe she has a huge heart and a place for all her slaves in it, it is a lot slaves, with a lot of hopes for a pet on the shoulder, a task, a purpose - and a good boy. I imagine her inbox in full to the brink whenever she is in here, and I have noticed that when online, she seems to need hours to get through to me. I imagine that her top slaves, or her young hunks take priority - which again is all fine, it is just hard to predict when to be available, when the time is there when her whims could be catered by me. I did not find such timing yesterday, and I have missed her, and has an ever present tiny fear, that what I have been able to give, have not been enough…

Friday, August 30th 2024 - 06:03

Mind map of this slave: Got an assignment: “You’re going to make a striptease for Goddess. From all dressed to all naked. I want a good song!” Slave thoughts: Hard - Fear of failure- exited. What to do? A good song? First thought - La Bomba, but that is a wrong thought if slave was master and Goddess  was - no no no. No such thoughts allowed. Must be a good song for Goddess- Hard - have not talked music with Goddess- ok got to think- most people develop their taste for music while in their teens - Goddess is 35, and so bright, she likely developed early- hence Music of 2001 and 2002 perhaps? First thought Britney, Slave for you - Is that a good call? Goddess might be more of an Avril Lavigne type - perhaps Skaterboy? - ohh I think it was in these years I studied in Barcelona - from Otto Zuts to the Baja Beach Club it was all Shakira - difficult choice…well I will have to work, must decide tonight…

Thursday, August 29th 2024 - 19:22

Sleep and submission will be the topic for this diary entry. I started this journey - this trial with a roller coaster of emotions and heavy heart beats fueled by thrill, fear and excitement. In one way fantastic feelings and just what I was looking for - on the other hand something that resulted in sleep deprivation. I came out of the weekend happy and exited, but also spend and lacking sleep. Monday and Tuesday nights I also could not sleep and kept waiting hoping my Goddess would be there for hours, and then when she was there it was wonderful - and when the alarm sounded and it was time for a new workday, I had hardly slept. Wednesday at work was tough - god was I tired. I went early and exhausted to bed, with many hours on the clock before the alarm would ring - but woke up during the night as men my age do and found Goddess online. I had a lovely time in the middle of the night - then a few hours sleep and today I was like a new person - so now I will try again. It is 9 a clock, I say god night and pray that I will wake up exactly when Goddess, will feel like seeing me. Sleep tight everyone 

Wednesday, August 28th 2024 - 01:09

This really should have been a cum log entry - but I failed :( Goddess had given me the task to cum by touching myself as if my dick was my clitty. Nice assignment I thought - I get to touch myself, I get to cum with only a minor restriction - I thought this is going to be nice. Boy was I wrong, I’m not of the superior sex, and my dick did not like to be treated as woman - after many and hard tries, I had to report failure to my goddess, soft clit in hand…

Monday, August 26th 2024 - 20:06

The weekend was a thrilling adventure - never before have I filmed myself so much - never before have I filmed myself so naked and in such compromising situations and positions. Though all without breaking anonymity - which is hard limit for me. Truly exiting - and fun. Today was a work day - and with another humiliating assignment awaiting me, which I couldn’t check off before just before bed time. Wonder if my Goddess get the same kick out of it. She has been kind though - and allowed me some freedom over my orgasms - I thought about rubbing the boner out I got during tonight’s session - but decided I better not. I will just edge my self a bit to her pictures and go to bed :-)

Saturday, August 24th 2024 - 06:36

I signed up two days ago… the first day was completely uneventful, i browsed a bit and that was all. Yesterday I logged in again - and I got a hi and hey - and later a Hello.  3 words, two Goddesses and a Queen. I started chatting with two, one asked me to worship her, which I did - another wanted me to buy a trial - I thought long and hard about it for an hour - and then I bought the trial. I live with my physical girl friend, so I could not do much yesterday, when she was home - so, I have so far only done a bit of instructed edging. Not much in activity - but quite a bit in emotions and lost sleep. Let’s see where it brings me…

Date Ownership change
2024-10-28 16:30:02 Ends its services to Mistress Pocahontas
2024-09-28 15:41:23 Starts serving Mistress Pocahontas
Only Verified Masters / Mistresses have access to cum logs
Only Verified Masters / Mistresses have access to chastity logs
Only the skills of level 2 and below are displayed, you need to be a registered Master/Mistress to see all the skills.


Anal Play

I will insert a tampon dipped in alcohol in your anus to make you drunk and remind you of your submission to Me
I want you to moan loudly while I fuck your ass.
As part of your training I want you to wear your butt plug for an hour everyday for a month
Wear this butt plug under your pants, we are going out shopping.

Nipple Play

I’ll tie you to the bed and use hot tea bags to tease your nipples and testicles

Discipline

As a punishment I will tie your hands behind your back and make you type a text on the keyboard with your nose while wearing clamps on your body
You will serve as my chair while I eat dinner
You are forbidden to enter to "our" bedroom without my explicit permission.
When I say "present yourself" you will stop what you are doing, remove your underwear and kneel in front of me with your legs spread. Don't you dare close those legs until I'm finished with my inspection!
I want you to help me prepare dinner and then be my serving boy as I eat dinner, if you're hungry you can eat leftovers from a dog bowl after I'm done eating and you've washed the dishes
Swear you will obey your Master/Mistress's commands every night and morning with a voice recorder and send it to your Master/Mistress
Every evening you will say good night to my feet by giving a kiss to each toe, the sole and the top of each of my feet
As part of your training I want you to wear your butt plug for an hour everyday for a month
You will keep this coin on the wall by holding in its place with your nose as long as I deem necessary.
Get down on your knees and beg me to give you permission to cum
You will stand facing a corner masturbating while l watch a movie. When I command you, you will cum on the wall and lick it clean.
I want you to kneel at my feet while masturbating, edge and ruin your own orgasm.

Pain & CBT

I want you to wear shoes too small for you and accompany me shopping
I need you and 5 other slaves to place their balls in the pocket of a billiards table while my friends and I play
I’ll tie you to the bed and use hot tea bags to tease your nipples and testicles
You will be tightly bound to a chair with your chest exposed. I will drip hot wax from a candle onto your nipples and chest. You must thank me for each drop and apologize for your weakness.
I will slap your face when I'm not satisfied with you.

Bondage

After I workout I will tie you to a chair and shove my sweaty socks into your mouth and gag you, then put my sweaty panties over your face.
I will bind your wrists to the bedposts, then tease your most sensitive areas with the soft caress of a feather. You must remain perfectly still, resisting the urge to arch into my touch.
I’ll tie you to the bed and use hot tea bags to tease your nipples and testicles
You will kneel in front of the toilet tied up, after I've urinated in it, for an hour.
You will be tightly bound to a chair with your chest exposed. I will drip hot wax from a candle onto your nipples and chest. You must thank me for each drop and apologize for your weakness.
My bull is coming over to fuck me. You'll be tied up and gagged under the bed, so you can hear me getting fucked. If you stay quiet I'll let you clean me after me and my bull came.

Pet Play

You will wear a collar and leash, and I will lead you around the room, commanding you to crawl, kneel, and stand at my whim. You must obey without hesitation, your eyes fixed on the floor.

Humiliation

I will insert a tampon dipped in alcohol in your anus to make you drunk and remind you of your submission to Me
I will cum on your food and make you eat it.
I want you to masturbate me and swallow my cum.
I will smother you with my armpits for 2 minutes.
Look how much I have squirt on the floor, be a good boy and lick it clean
I want you to clean all my sextoys
You will lie on your back with your legs spread wide. I will insert My strap-on into your mouth, and you will deep-throat it as far as you can, gagging if necessary, while looking up at Me.
You will serve as my chair while I eat dinner
I want you to fuck Me, too bad you are wearing your chastity cage... Get my strapping you can use that, it is much better than your pathetic cock
I want you to help me prepare dinner and then be my serving boy as I eat dinner, if you're hungry you can eat leftovers from a dog bowl after I'm done eating and you've washed the dishes
You will cum on a toothbrush, then brush your teeth with it for 2 minutes
I want you to clean my sneakers with your toothbrush
I will smother you with my big ass for one minute
You will hang a cat bell to your sex so that your Master/Mistress always hears you moving.
I want you to inhale my cigarette smoke.
I want you to masturbate and edge 3 times before I will make you ruin your orgasm on my feet.
Take off my thong off and put it in your mouth. Leave it there while I finish my dinner.
Wear a chastity device while I describe in detail a sexual encounter with My lover. You must thank Me for sharing and beg to be released, knowing that only he can fulfill My needs.
After I workout I will tie you to a chair and shove my sweaty socks into your mouth and gag you, then put my sweaty panties over your face.
I want you to be my doormat
Tonight when I get home you will be kneeling by the door, and as soon as I step in you will clean my shoes with your tongue and pay special attention to my heels, they need to be sucked clean.
I want you to wear shoes too small for you and accompany me shopping
I want you to lick the wet spot on the mattress after I have sex with my date.
You will take pictures for me while I'm having sex with another person.
Get on your knees I will inspect your brawn. Open your mouth let me see your teeth and tongue. I don’t need the weak and ill slaves.
Come closer, I want to cum on your face.
You will lick my asshole while I look for bulls online
You will go live on webcam with a vibrator strapped to your cock. I will command you to edge and deny yourself repeatedly, thanking me for each denial and describing how desperate you are to cum, begging for more control.
I want you to fuck a piece of bread in front of Me to completion, and thank Me for letting you relieve yourself
I need you and 5 other slaves to place their balls in the pocket of a billiards table while my friends and I play
I want you to lick peanut butter from my ass.
Kneel down, I will spit on your face until your face is covered with my saliva
I will wear a short skirt and no underwear. In a quiet public restroom, you will kneel and worship my bare ass while I keep watch.
You will apply bright red lipstick to your penis and tell it to kiss my feet as an apology for its size.
I want you to clean my toes with your toothbrush.
You will kneel in front of the toilet tied up, after I've urinated in it, for an hour.
I want you to kneel next to me with ashtray gag and wait for me to finish my cigaret
My bull is coming over to fuck me. You'll be tied up and gagged under the bed, so you can hear me getting fucked. If you stay quiet I'll let you clean me after me and my bull came.
Wank yourself and swallow your own cum in front of me.

Foot Fetish

I will spread peanut butter on my feet and you are going to lick them clean
I want you to eat only things i have stepped on with my foot before
I want you to lick each one of my toes with delight
I want you to clean my sneakers with your toothbrush
I want you to be my doormat
Tonight when I get home you will be kneeling by the door, and as soon as I step in you will clean my shoes with your tongue and pay special attention to my heels, they need to be sucked clean.
I want you to kiss my feet in a store when no one is looking.
Every evening you will say good night to my feet by giving a kiss to each toe, the sole and the top of each of my feet
You are going to help me into and out of my footwear at all times
I want you to adore my feet while I ignore you
My feet are stinky and dirty you need to clean them using only your tongue, make sure to get all that toe jam out it's full of good nutrients
I will smother you with My feet until you beg Me to let you breathe
You will apply bright red lipstick to your penis and tell it to kiss my feet as an apology for its size.
I want you to clean my toes with your toothbrush.

Orgasm Control

I want you to fuck Me, too bad you are wearing your chastity cage... Get my strapping you can use that, it is much better than your pathetic cock
I want you to masturbate and edge 3 times before I will make you ruin your orgasm on my feet.
Wear a chastity device while I describe in detail a sexual encounter with My lover. You must thank Me for sharing and beg to be released, knowing that only he can fulfill My needs.
I want to tie you to a chair with your cock locked up while I pleasure myself to multiple orgasms and not give you one when I finish.
I will blindfold you and bring you to the edge of orgasm, only to cruelly deny you release. You will beg for mercy until I am satisfied.
You will stand facing a corner masturbating while l watch a movie. When I command you, you will cum on the wall and lick it clean.
You will go live on webcam with a vibrator strapped to your cock. I will command you to edge and deny yourself repeatedly, thanking me for each denial and describing how desperate you are to cum, begging for more control.
I want you to masturbate yourself only with a corner of a table.
I want you to kneel at my feet while masturbating, edge and ruin your own orgasm.
My bull is coming over to fuck me. You'll be tied up and gagged under the bed, so you can hear me getting fucked. If you stay quiet I'll let you clean me after me and my bull came.
Wank yourself and swallow your own cum in front of me.

Maid

I want you to feed me in the bed.
I want you to clean all my sextoys
I want you to help me prepare dinner and then be my serving boy as I eat dinner, if you're hungry you can eat leftovers from a dog bowl after I'm done eating and you've washed the dishes
I want to go shopping. You will carry my bags, bring the clothes I like to the fitting room and queue for me.
The weather is so hot, you will stand by me while I am sitting in the sun and fan me to keep me cool.
You will practice the art of sensual, silent service. I want you to anticipate my needs without a single word and move with grace and efficiency.
You will draw a luxurious bath for my lover and me. Make sure the water temperature is perfect, add fragrant bath oils, and light candles around the tub. Once prepared, you will discreetly leave the room and stand by in case we need anything.
I require you to organize our wardrobe. Make sure all our clothes are neatly arranged, and our shoes are polished and ready to wear.
I want you to arrange my wardrobe according to my preferences. You will categorize my clothes by type, color, and occasion, ensuring everything is easily accessible and impeccably organized.
I will have you organize my lingerie drawer, arranging everything by color and type. Ensure that every piece is neatly folded and easily accessible. You will present your work to me when finished.
I expect you to clean and prepare the bedroom for me and my lover. The bed should be made with fresh sheets, and the room should be filled with a pleasant scent.
A second recording device
Anal plug
Apples
Belt
Books
Bucket
Car
Cellophane paper
Chair
Clothespins
Cock lock
Cooking pan
Deck of cards
Dice
Electric toothbrush
Flour
Flowers
Freezer
Fridge
Honey
Ice cubes
Ketchup or Mayonnaise
Kitchen
Long Candles
Lubricant
Mask
Milk
Rice
Rope
Rubber bands
Salt
Sand paper
Scale
Scissors
Shaver
Shaving wax
Shaving wax
Shoelace
Toilet brush
Toilet paper roll
Toothbrush
Toothpaste
Trash bags
Tray
Wooden spoon

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