Slave BambiSub

There's flu in my house and it's been a lot of no fun dealing with it, and has made it hard to be as present as a sub. I'm taking care of someone a lot right now which means I have had little time to be alone to do my tasks, and it's made it hard to "feel" right. Mistress very kindly agreed to let me relax from the rules for a short time while I deal with this... I'm grateful, because obeying the new rules when I'm covered in snot and feeling miserable would be tough. She said she's going to do more hypno with me, which makes me very excited, because that's the kink that actually made me need a Domme to take control. I've tranced to Bambi Sleep for years, and become so frustrated that there's this leash in my mind that no one seems to know how to hold. I can't wait to see what she has in store. <3

Yesterday, Mistress changed my rules. She felt like it was not healthy having me wait for permission to pee so much. So, now I am allowed to pee whenever I want, but I'm now required to ask permission to go to sleep. Being allowed to pee whenever I want feels very liberating now and I felt gratitude towards Mistress all day every time I went to the bathroom, and I drank as much water as I wanted and even had an extra coffee. :) Thank you, Mistress. (To top it off, she was kind enough to even let me cum!)

I wasn't able to play much yesterday, since I had some real-life obligations that meant I didn't really get much private time... and that's still true today sadly. I'm hoping I can get some alone time to complete a task or two today...

Day 3 under Mistress's rules... it's tough! Today was a little disorienting since I had to do a ton of not-sexy stuff and deal with surprises in my real life. I was working on completing a task for Mistress when I found out I was gonna have to drop what I was doing and go do other stuff for a while, which was very disappointing. I did get to finish that task, though, which was good. Later, Mistress gave me a physically taxing one. I had to hold a pose for 5 minutes with my arms straight out and a toy in my mouth. I tried doing it in the Endure pose, but, I'm not up to 5 minutes of Endure yet... christ that's hard. I had to lower myself from my toes, but even then my back was screaming at me holding my arms out for 5 minutes straight. She also had me blindfold myself first, which added an element of suspense -- I couldn't see my timer, or in fact, tell if I had actually started the timer. So the whole time I was wondering, has it been close to 5 minutes? More than? Will the timer ever go off? Will I stop now and check and see I was so close, and have to restart? The mindfuck was intense, and I loved it.

I'm having to get very strategic about what I drink. Asking to pee is embarrassing, not just for the humiliation of not being able to go whenever I want, but because I naturally have to pee more than normal for some reason... always have. On the rare occasions I go out to drink, I'm always having to go to the bathroom probably twice for every time an average person in the group does. I think Mistress got more than she bargained for with this rule. :) I've also started asking permission for stuff in advance, for instance if I'm with a group of people and know that I'll have to grab a limited window to pee when it comes up.

Today is my second day obeying my Mistress's rules. She gave me wonderful feedback about the ways I can improve the tasks I perform for her. She said that my form needs improvement for the physical tasks she assigns, and she wants better camera angles and more cleanliness of my space and preparation. I'm going to take that very seriously.

I definitely feel a major change in mindset. Last night, I felt very horny, and realized that I can't just cum whenever I feel like it now. I'm used to cumming multiple times a day, so this will be an adjustment. I asked Mistress how mean she intends to be about this rule, and she said she might not let me cum at all. Fair enough. I promised to obey her and let her have control, so this is up to her. It was especially difficult last night. I woke up feeling really horny, and this was amplified by the fact that I also had her collar around my neck. I found myself touching my cock and thinking about just how much control I've given Mistress Hellcat over me, and how it feels... and of course, had to stop, because I definitely did not have permission to cum. I pulled up SM and looked at her wall, which has beautiful pictures of her, and I felt the weight of her control. That's not just a domme -- that's MY Mistress, who decides whether I cum or smoke or go to the bathroom, and that's why I need to stay focused on obeying her and pleasing her. Over the coming days, my cock will probably get to have a hair trigger. I can see how slaves get themselves into trouble, and why chastity cages are probably for our own good.

Mistress did permit me to smoke weed last night before bed, which was a very nice distraction. :)

I have no idea what's in store for me today... but I'm very excited to find out.

Today was a very special day. Although Mistress Hellcat took ownership of me over a month ago, our dynamic was somewhat nebulous for a number of reasons... not least of which was that I could not be present on the site much. I have time to really focus on submission for a little while, and Mistress gave me the gift of a set of rules to follow until the end of the year. When she told me what they are, I was delighted with how strict they are, and how much they will keep me connected to her as a slave.

1. I may not cum without permission.

2. I must keep her appraised of my day.

3. I must ask her permission to smoke weed.

4. I must wear a collar to sleep.

5. I must ask her permission to use the toilet (though permission is automatic if I urgently need to go, or if she does not respond in 5-10 minutes.)

6. I must keep myself properly groomed when performing tasks for her.

7. I must only address her in formal language, avoiding contractions or slang, unless given permission to speak casually.

8. I must worship her every day, and compliment her.

As my owner, she is free to add, remove or modify these rules as she sees fit. The toilet rule in particular feels quite strict, and I am scared and excited to see what it will be like. I've also never given up control of my orgasms before. I told Mistress that I would be willing to be locked in chastity, even though that's not something I can normally do. I leave it to her to decide if and when to impose this restriction.

I performed a ritual to surrender myself to her authority as a slave and to obey these rules 24/7 until the end of the year, and videoed myself performing it for her. I've played casually with wearing a collar before, but never felt before like I was truly bound by one. I am so happy and excited to be allowed to serve Mistress Hellcat in this way for this time. I truly feel that being allowed to submit in this way will enrich my kink life very deeply and allow me to grow. Thank you, Mistress!

Day 7 as Mistress Hellcat's slave... it's been hard to get time to focus lately, but it's been so much fun having a task to do each day, especially when I get more than one. My latest tasks have been physically challenging... I enjoyed that. I was also given a task to play with a random item, selected while blindfolded... one of the options in my inventory was a shock collar that I'd not had the opportunity to play with yet. I was not disappointed! It's a pishock so it can be controlled online... someday maybe I'll have a chance to put the control in the hands of my Mistress, or someone she chooses to let play with me. :)

Day 3 as Mistress Hellcat's slave. Yesterday was jam-packed with not-kinky stuff so I didn't get a chance to get to the task Mistress assigned until today. She assigned me to record a video giving a speech about 5 ways I could empower myself as  sexy bimbo... I found myself really nervous and unsure of myself. I have a really hard time talking about wanting to be a bimbo. And in general, I hate recording videos of myself in any context! But part of the magic of a dynamic is having to do what we're told, and so I did it...and it felt really good, even if I was super nervous!

I made the choice to surrender myself to Mistress Hellcat today... I'm not sure what to expect. :D I'm scared and excited. As my hand hovered over the "Accept" button, I had butterflies in my stomach like I was a teen again. I want to do a really, really good job... even if I'm not quite sure what that means yet lol

I'm also eager to see how the um, conditioning plays out. Last night, Mistress told me I was doing good. I'd steeled myself to have a serious talk about limits and protocol before accepting her ownership of me, but as soon as I saw her praise me, my walls just came tumbling down and I had to recenter myself. And once I accepted and saw that she was kind enough to lock down my account and take control of me, and rename me to BambiSub, I felt so happy. I hope she trains me and pulls me deeper and learns all the little rings and leashes that have been put in my mind for someone to use... >:)

Thank you, Mistress!